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IELTS Writing Example: The Aims of University

This IELTS writing example is on the topic of university education. Take a look at the question:

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In this essay, two opposing opinions need to be discussed.

This is the first opinion:

The aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs.

This is the second opinion:

There are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society.

As the prompt suggests, you MUST talk about both sides of the issue and include your opinion.

Aims of University EssayWhat are the aims of university?

IELTS Writing Example

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society.

Discuss both views andgive your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Write at least 250 words.

IELTS Writing Example - Model Answer

These days, more and more people are making the choice to go to university. While some people are of the opinion that the only purpose of a university education is to improve job prospects, others think that society and the individual benefit in much broader ways.

It is certainly true that one of the main aims of university is to secure a better job. The majority of people want to improve their future career prospects and attending university is one of the best ways to do this as it increases a person's marketable skills and attractiveness to potential employers. In addition, further education is very expensive for many people, so most would not consider it if it would not provide them with a more secure future and a higher standard of living. Thus job prospects are very important.

However, there are other benefits for individuals and society. Firstly, the independence of living away from home is a benefit because it helps the students develop better social skills and improve as a person. A case in point is that many students will have to leave their families, live in halls of residence and meet new friends. As a result, their maturity and confidence will grow enabling them to live more fulfilling lives. Secondly, society will gain from the contribution that the graduates can make to the economy. We are living in a very competitive world, so countries need educated people in order to compete and prosper.

Therefore, I believe that although a main aim of university education is to get the best job, there are clearly further benefits. If we continue to promote and encourage university attendance, it will lead to a better future for individuals and society.

(279 words)

Comments

The writer in this IELTS writing example has a clear thesis in the second sentence of the introduction, establishing that two sides of this issue will be discussed:

  • While some people are of the opinion...others think that...

Looking at the structure, the topic sentences make it clear when the first opinion is being discussed:

  • It is certainly true that one of the main aims of university is to secure a better job.

And when the writer is moving onto the next opinion

  • However, there are other benefits for individuals and society.

Connectors (To begin... Also... Firstly... Secondly) are used well to introduce each new supporting idea. Further connectors (For example...A case in point is that...As a result...) are used to expand on these ideas.

Finally, the writer has demonstrated that they are able to use complex sentence structures (While...that...in order to...as...), and has discussed both views and combined this with his/her opinion, thus ensuring the question has been answered.

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5 comments
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tmk8141
The benefits of a university education are weighed from people's perspectives. These people think graduating from a university will only help them get a better job, whereas others believe it could offer more benefits for both individuals and society. This essay will examine both views and explain why I feel the benefits of university education will not only help in obtaining high-paying jobs.

The university studies primarily assist students in acquiring desired jobs. It provides an added education qualification for the students that helps break out the eligibility criteria for high-paying jobs. For example, certain corporate companies prefer to hire the person who completed their master's in human resources for an HR position. These types of eligibility criteria are overcome by students when they pursue their degree at a university. Overall, graduating from university helps students secure better jobs.

On the other hand, people believe graduating from a university is not only helps the students to get better jobs because they do learn more about how to manage themselves and live independently away from home. For instance, the students will get an idea about self-management while doing their activity on their own. In addition, they do get some more deep knowledge in their core subject, which helps them solve more complex problems. While studying at a university, students not only get better jobs but also acquire valuable life skills and in-depth subject knowledge.

In conclusion, university studies primary focus is to get high-paying jobs, while others believe it has much greater benefits for their lives and the gathering of deep knowledge on the subjects. However, in my view, university studies would give students more benefits in their careers, such as an independent life, managing tasks, and deep core knowledge, than getting high-paying jobs.
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Administrator
IELTS buddy
This is likely to get a 6/6.5.

An issue is that you have not addressed one part of the question properly - it says "wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society". As far as I can see, you have discussed individual benefits but not the ones to society. Not fully answering the question could limit you to a band 5 for TR.

The rest of the essay is generally good though I don't think it quite has the sophistication and complexity in CC, lexis, sentence structures and grammar to be 7/8.
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y66
Before I didn’t fassied and picky eater I was young. I usually did go to park and other beautiful place. I had my girl friend. We usually did play volleyball and football in my youth because we was interested in play sport in my hometown and we usually go to school every day with my girlfriend. We always go to trip with our family every year because my hometown has lot of beautiful places that is why we always go to trip every year. Nowdays she is studding in public school. She usually go to school everyday because she is interested in study and learn languages and I am studding in Target international school nowadays with my best friends and I am living in dormitory. Target has dormitory and football pool and beautiful rooms of course teachers. My teacher always give me homework everyday. I am going to access in the future and I am going to go abroad unuversity in the future because abroad study very interesting for me or I am going to do bissnes in the future because I am interested in do bicness and I am learning do bissnes nowadays with my classmats .
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Mohamed Saad
All the best. Thanks for your efforts.
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losh
In today's education world, people believe that the only benefit of a university education is to help graduates achieve better jobs, while some others believe it has much more benefits for both individuals and society than just that. This essay agrees that a university education’s only target is to help individuals get better jobs

The main reason why most of the high school graduates choose to go to university is because of the value and benefits it gives when they search for their future careers/jobs. For instance, studies show that high-end companies tend to choose people with bachelor's or master's degrees which an individual receives upon completing university.
In short university education and completion ensure that students will get a good job in the future.

On the other hand benefits of university for society are much smaller. one is when people get a better job their work and tax payments play a good part in the improvement of the society. other than that there is not much to say about benefits for individuals or society.

In conclusion, although there are some benefits for society and individuals from university the main benefit is the help an individual get to achieve a better job.

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