Task 2 Sample Essay:
Foreign Aid

by katisss

Does foreign aid help donor countries more than the recipients?

Foreign aid programs have been criticized for profiting the donor country over the recipient country. While there are positive effects of aid programs, this type of aid is always tied to a donor countries interests and stakes in the recipient country. Receiving aid may have some negative side effects on the economic and political development of a country.

By aiding a country, the benefactor country may also act in its own interest. Possible motives are to secure its borders, allies and access to raw materials or future markets. For example, a country can try to limit immigration from a poor neighbouring country by providing aid. Additionally, it may aim to improve its image by aiding another country.

Moreover, the economy in a beneficiary country can become fully dependent on imported aid goods, as aid can further damage a countrie’sry’s weak economy. Imported goods may weaken the demand for locally produced goods that may be unable to compete with the quality and price of the imported goods. Long term this can lead to a loss of skills in a country being used to being given goods instead of producing them. At the same time producing aid goods can help the domestic economy in the donor country.

Last but not least, The donator may aim more or less openly for political influence in the aided country. For example, promoting its own ideological, religious or political views. Moreover, providing aid can support an incompetent and corrupt governments in a recipient country that otherwise would fail to ensure the basic needs of its citizens are met.

In conclusion, conflict of interests can arise when aid is provided to a country by another. A potential solution is letting a neutral third party, like the United Nations, handle the aid program.

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IELTS buddy
Feedback

I can’t find much to advise you on with this (apart from the small points I have corrected above) as its a good answer.

Each paragraph has a central topic and your main ideas in each paragraph are fully supported and extended.

Thesis

Be careful with your thesis – you mention ‘economic’ and ‘political’ concerns in there, but then you extend this to say ‘also acting in its own interests’ in the topic sentence of the first body paragraph.

It is not usual to do it this way. You would mention all three main ideas in the thesis rather than adding the third point to the topic sentence of the first body paragraph using a transition (also).

I’m guessing you are concerned about repeating yourself, but this is not really a way to avoid that. In your thesis you could say there are three issues (but not say specifically what they are) and then mention them for the first time in the body paragraphs.

Clarity

I wasn’t quite sure what you meant by ‘aid goods’. You should probably give an example to show what you mean when you say this.

’For Example’

Another small point – remember the comma after ‘for example’.

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