Task 2 Essay:
Teaching 'Finance' at School

by muhammad
(Bukhara)

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In present circumstances, there is a debate that school program should include compulsary financial education or studing should be free. However, free education system, in my opinion, is the best technique in developed society.

Firstly, Free education is the effective way of teaching everyone. In some countries, however, financial education is compulsory, therefore 20 or 30 percent of its population is semi - literate. For example, USA, nowadays 30 or 45 percent of its young generation cannot afford to study in universities or colledges. They think that despite paying huge tution fees, we can find a job and earn money. It is proven if country's education system faces like this kind of problems, developing of the country will decrease. It means this country cannot connect with the world.

Moreover, there’s another factor we need to consider about. In my opinion, the role of financial education is getting more important but the parents are also important and have responsibility to teach their child to learn how to manage the money. More than 70% of young people’s money are come from their parents. In addition, it has to be considered that a student might become money-mind person, talking about money all the time in class or even in a public place. It can be harmful for some students and affect their normal social life.

In conclusion, Free eduacation is the best approach for students to get a good lessons and save their money for their future career

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IELTS buddy
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I've provided a grammar corrected version below; however, see my notes below because you have not answered the question.

Check out these lessons on analyzing essay questions:

Lesson 1: Identify the Topic

Lesson 2: Identify the Task

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Grammar Corrected Version:

In present circumstances, At the present time, there is a debate that as to whether school programs should include compulsory financial education or studing should be free or not. However, Free education system, in my opinion, is the best technique policy in developed societies.

Firstly, Free education is the effective way of teaching everyone. In some countries, however, financial education is compulsory, therefore 20 or 30 percent of its population is semi - literate. For example, in the USA, nowadays 30 or 45 percent of its young generation cannot afford to study in universities or colleges. They think that despite paying huge tuition fees, we can find a job and earn money. It is proven that if a country's education system faces like this these kind of problems, development of the country will decrease decline. It means this country cannot connect with the world.

Moreover, there is another factor we need to consider about. In my opinion, the role of financial education is getting more important but the parents are also important and have responsibility to teach their child to learn how to manage the money. More than 70% of young people’s money are comes from their parents. In addition, it has to be considered that a student might become a money-mind person, talking about money all the time in class or even in a public place. It can be harmful for some students and affect their normal social life.

In conclusion, free education is the best approach for students to get good lessons and save their money for their future career

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FURTHER COMMENTS

Answering the Question

It is always important to spend some time analyzing the question to make sure you fully understand it and answer it correctly.

In this case you appear to have misunderstood it.

The question is asking if you think there should be a subject taught at school about Finance.

The assumption for this is then that students will be better prepared for their future life as this aspect is so important these days.

However, it appears that you thought the question was asking if education itself should be free or should be paid for.

It looks from your first body paragraph that you have misunderstood the question, but from your second body paragraph it looks like you do seem to be answering. So it is a bit mixed up.

It will affect your score badly though if you do not answer the question, so you must analyze it carefully and make sure all of your body paragraphs focus on answering the question.

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