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Task 2 Essay Sample:
Developments in IT

by Lenur
(Termiz, Surkhandarya, Uzbekistan)

In the last 20 years there have been significant developments in the field of information technology (IT), for example the World Wide Web and communication by email. However, future developments in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive.


To what extent do you agree with this view?

There is no doubt that almost every field has developed significantly over the past few decades and it is visable in the field of information technology. It is clearly seen from the recent figures that World Wild Web namely internet and other communication systems by email have developed and spread sharply in many countries around the globe and also even in poor societies.

First of all, no one can deny that technology has a great role in our life development. Due to nowadays, people’s requirements for IT are increasing sharply and uxexpectedly. However, as many scientists have mentioned that development of IT are likely to have more drawbacks rather than benefits in the future life. Moreover, the main advantages of of technology are getting feedback and communication system. For instance, everybody can easily echieve and get information about every field of the world such us, wheather, world news, TV programs or economy by internet.

Secondly, as technology has great advantages in our life development but also it has more negative effects. For examplesitting in front of computers and using then to get information for a long time, it can bring many health such us eyesight problems. The main problem of IT is robbering. At the present time, in many countries of the world have problems as robbering money from the banks, companies with way of hacking.

On the other hand, before thinking about negative sides of IT people should more pay attention to advantages of this field. Because, people can easily make communication with their friends, relatives and parents who live in other countries. Futhermore, nowadays, people have chance to buy anything from the internet without leaving house or can run their business without abandoning their chair.

To sum up, I believe that IT will not have more drawbaks than benefits in the future, and it depends on people how they will use technology of information beneficial or waste time.

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IELTS buddy
Feedback

There are quite a of grammar errors, so I can't correct them all, but I've provided some guidance on your organization below:

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There is no doubt that almost every field has developed significantly over the past few decades and it is visable in the field of information technology. It is clearly seen from the recent figures that World Wild Web namely internet and other communication systems by email have developed and spread sharply in many countries around the globe and also even in poor societies.
(If you have an ‘agree / disagree’ essay, I would make your opinion clear in your introduction i.e. in your thesis)

First of all, no one can deny that technology has a great role in our life
development. Due to nowadays, people’s requirements for IT are increasing sharply and uxexpectedly. However, as many scientists have mentioned that development of IT are likely to have more drawbacks rather than benefits in the future life (What point are you trying to make in this first part of your paragraph? It is not clear.  You have said IT is important, it is required more, but it has drawbacks.  None of this is actually providing ideas to support your essay - should this be your thesis?). Moreover, ("Moreover" mean you going on to a new idea, but as I said, you do not seem yet to have provided your 'first' idea). the main advantages of of technology are getting feedback and communication system. For instance, everybody can easily echieve  and get information about every field of the world such us, wheather, world news, TV programs or economy by internet (Your organization in this paragraph is confusing – you indicate in at the beginning that you will talk about ‘drawbacks’, but you then discuss ‘benefits’).

Secondly, as technology has great advantages in our life development but also it has more negative effects. For example sitting in front of computers and using then to get information for a long time, it can bring  many health such us eyesight problems. The main problem of IT is robbering. At the present time, in many countries of the world have problems as robbering money from the banks, companies with way of hacking.

On the other hand, before thinking about negative sides of IT people should more pay attention to advantages of this field. Because, people can easily make communication with their friends, relatives and parents who live in other countries. Futhermore, nowadays, people have chance to buy anything from the internet without leaving house or can run their business without abandoning their chair.
(Again, confusing organization of your essay – you talked about advantages in your first body paragraph, but you have returned to them again here).

To sum up, I believe that IT will not have more drawbaks than benefits in the future, and it depends on people  how they will use technology of information  beneficial or waste time.

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FURTHER COMMENTS


As I said above, you need to keep practicing in order to improve your grammar, so a writing teacher should be able to help you with this.

Organization.

As I stated in the essay, you need to work on organizing your work better. You seemed to organize it like this:

Body 1: Benefits

Body 2: Drawback

Body 3: Benefits


You need to group similar things together. So you should have something like this:

Body 1: Benefits

Body 2: Benefits

Body 3: Drawbacks


You should also put your opinion clearly in the introduction in this type of essay (it seems like you are placing it at the beginning of your first body paragraph).

There is a sample essay for this question, so take a look and study the organization:

IT Sample Essay


Thanks



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