Task 2 Essay: Driving Age
by muhammad
(bukhara)
The best way to reduce the number of traffic accidents is to raise age limits for younger drivers and to lower age limit for the aged ones.
Do you agree?At present time, traffic accidents are becoming very global problem over the world, due to the number of cars in roads and without age limits. There is a debate about reducing accidents weather establishing age limits for both younger and old generations, or not. However, it is, in my opinion the best technique to avoid traffic accidents.
Firstly, young drivers tend to be more daring and unable to void a crush when they face the one. Young drivers often are daring after the drinks of alcohol at night and cause them to lose the control of the car, due to their inexperience. Drink driving will not only cause driver’s life but may cause one innocent life to lose. Government, therefore, should establish age limits and school lessons for drivers to increase their knowledge about safety from accidents on roads. This will help to safe road crushes and drink driving.
Secondly, for the aged drivers, government should not lower their age and also check their capability of aged drivers such as eyesight, hearing and other health conditions to save crushes on roads. Because for some senior drivers have heart failure that cause in roads to lose the control and accident. Age limit law may control road accidents and save senior generations’ life to lose.
In conclusion, lower and higher age limits for drivers may be the best solution for traffic accidents for road, therefore some countries want to establish this law on the roads. But governments should also include their law to check health condition of all drivers without their age.
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IELTS buddyFeedbackYour general ideas and organization are ok, but you have quite a lot of grammar errors (too many for me to correct them all), so to improve your score you need to focus on grammar practice.
These parts / sentences, for example, are poorly written or slightly confusing to read:
when they face the one
Because for some senior drivers have heart failure that cause in roads to lose the control and accident. Age limit law may control road accidents and save senior generations’ life to lose.
Also, the topic sentence in your second body paragraph is confusing as you say the government should ‘not’ lower the age limit. But you said in your thesis that they should do. I think this was maybe an error with the way you wrote it.