Task 1 Table: IELTS Results
by Phuong Nhung Nguyen
(Hanoi, Vietnam)
The graph illustrates the ielts results of candidates from some language groups during 2003. As can be seen from the graph, all numbers ranged from 6 to 7 and Hindi came out the first while Russian was at the bottom of overall score.
In terms of average figure, the students of Hindi achieved the best result, presenting 6.73, corresponding to 6.38 of Russian candidates who gained the lowest score. Of all the data, Hindi group ranked first at the Listening skill reaching 6.78 whilst Spanish showed the minimum score at the Writing field with only 6.08. In each band, Hindi was also the group that had the highest number of four bands except for Reading skill as Spanish group did better than Hindi one in this field, experiencing 6.42.
In conclusion, the scores of students varied so much between 6 and 7 points. For the average results, Hindi and Spanish language were at the first and the last position in the ranking list respectively.
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IELTS buddy feedback:Hi Phuong,
Thanks for your submission.
Corrected version of your submission:The graph illustrates the IELTS results of candidates from four language groups during 2003. As can be seen from the graph, all numbers ranged from 6 to 7 and Hindi came out the first, while Russian was at the bottom of the overall scores.
In terms of the average scores, the students of Hindi achieved the best result, at 6.73, which was in contrast to Russian candidates who gained the lowest score of 6.38. Of all the data, Hindi group ranked first at Listening skills, reaching 6.78, whilst Spanish showed the minimum score at the Writing field with only 6.08. In each band, Hindi was also the group that had the highest number in all the four bands, except for Reading skills as the Spanish group did better than Hindi one in this field, achieving 6.42.
In conclusion, the scores of all students varied moderately between 6 and 7 points. For the average results, Hindi and Russian language were at the first and the last position in the ranking list respectively.
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Further Comments:Overall, it was a good answer as you picked out the key information and didn’t go into too much detail.
You also introduced the graph well (paraphrasing the prompt – not copying it) and you correctly gave an overview after this with the key points.
If you are providing an overview at the beginning you don’t have to also have a conclusion. The danger of having both is that you repeat yourself as you have done – you mention all the scores being between 6 and 7 in the introduction and conclusion. It is better not to repeat like this.
Rather than having that conclusion you will have been better to have given some more details about the scores, maybe mentioning that the Malayalam and Spanish score were quite similar.
Hope that helps,
Let me know if you have any further questions