by katiss
(USA)
A friend who lives in another country has invited to you come and stay with him/her on your next holiday. You are too busy to accept the invitation.
Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:
Thank him/her for the invitation
Explain why you cannot come
Give him/her your other news
Dear Rosella,
how are you doing? When I got your letter last week I realized we haven‘t talked in month. Thank you so much for including the pictures of your new house and inviting us to visit you in Brazil this summer. I always wanted to go there, but I am afraid we will not be able to make it this summer. Maybe you can visit us instead in Australia? We have just moved to the coast 3 month ago and I have decided to quit my office job. Instead we are now running a small café in a historic beach house. It is quite exciting, but also a lot of work: I get up at 5 a.m. every morning and we usually close after 11 p.m. The house was quite run down when we bought it, but now it looks fantastic. Obviously, I can not close the café for several weeks during summer as we just opened a few weeks ago. We also adopted a puppy named „Spotty“ we can not take on the trip. I attached a few pictures to the letter and I hope they will convince you to come here this summer. Just let me know.
Yours Sincerely,
A. B.
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IELTS buddy
Feedback:
Corrected Version:
Dear Rosella,
How are you doing?
When I got your letter last week, I realized we haven‘t talked in months. Thank you so much for including the pictures of your new house and inviting us to visit you in Brazil this summer.
I’ve always wanted to go there, but I'm afraid we be able to make it this summer. Maybe you can visit us instead in Australia? We have just moved to the coast 3 months ago and I've decided to quit my office job. Instead we are now running a small café in a historic beach house.
It's quite exciting, but also a lot of work: I get up at 5 a.m. every morning and we usually close after 11 p.m. The house was quite run down when we bought it, but now it looks fantastic. Obviously, I can't close the café for several weeks during summer as we just opened a few weeks ago.
We also adopted a puppy named ”Spotty“ who we can't take on the trip. I’ve attached a few pictures to the letter and I hope they will convince you to come here this summer. Just let me know.
Hopefully see you soon,Yours Sincerely,’
Best wishes,
A. B.
FURTHER COMMENTS
It’s a good letter that fully answers all the points needed. Here are some other comments.
Paragraphs
I’m not sure if it is an IT error, but there were no paragraphs in the version I got. Make sure you break up your letter into paragraphs.
Complex Sentences
You should try and fit a few more of these in as the examiner will look out for them. For example, you could have done this:Although I’ve always wanted to go there, I am afraid we will not be able to make it this summer.
Closing a Letter
You closed your letter incorrectly. 'Sincerely' is for formal letters.
Informal letters use 'best wishes' or 'best regards'.
See this lesson on how to open and close a letter.
Your letter also seemed to close a bit suddenly, which is why I added that last sentence.
Abbreviations
It's also ok to use short forms or abbreviations in informal letters which is why I changed them in yours. There was nothing wrong with the grammar.
Present Perfect
You wrote:We have just moved to the coast 3 months ago
'ago' is used with the past simple, not present perfect so it does not look right. That's why I changed it to past simple.
Comments for Holiday Invitation
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by Maria
A friend invites you spend a holiday with him/her in another country. Write a letter to him/her. In your letter:
- Let him know that you can't make it
- Give reasons why you are not able to
- Ask if you can fix some other time to visit.
Dear Joe,
I am glad to hear from you, it quiet a long time. So good of you to have taught of me spending some with you in Cuba. I am highly honoured. All thing been equal, this could have been a great opportunity for me to see the Caribbean country. To see all the beautiful vallies, plateaus and beaches in Cuba could have be great, but unfortunately i can't make it due to my tight job schedule.
I just got a teaching job at state high school. It has been intense and time demanding. My class schedule include both part-time and full-time, meaning i work on weekend too. I have been working round the clock. To be honest with you am enjoying it. You remember me Jones his is my supervisor.
However, this term ends by October so i shall be free for six week from the beginning of November till mid December. so i will like to escape the winter cold here in Moscow and take out time to see the beauty of the Caribbean country. please let me know if i can visit yiu then.
Best regards,
Preston jay
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