by Seilas
(LONDON)
The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet
Can you guys please help me to find something wrong with them? I have written this graph twice and also within 15 mins.
Description One
The bar illustrates the amount of the used frequency weekly (in 1000s), in the period of 5 weeks, that three kinds of computer software were downloaded from the Internet.
Firstly, as seen from the chart, it was obvious to notice that the Active X was the most popular packages among them whenever it was downloaded in this period, which from nearly 70 to around 120 per week.
Secondly, the trend of Java in this period was increasing during this 5 weeks, from nearly 50 in week 1 to slightly over 80 in week 5.
Thirdly, the volume of Net in this 5 weeks was changed as a U-shape from nearly under 40 in week 1 to around 50 in week 5.
Totally, the number of downloaded times had grown up from week 1 to week 5 which both Active x and Jave involved in this trend.
Description Two
The bar chart illustrates the amount of downloaded frequency per week (in 1000s), during this 5 weeks, that three kinds of computer packages were downloaded from the Internet. As seen from the bar chart clearly, over this 5 weeks, the most popular package was Active X, followed by the Java and the least one that was the Net.
Overall, both Active X and Java's patterns of downloaded rate were increasing from week 1 to week 5 but there was a slightly decline of Active X in week 4 , from nearly 120,000s in week 3 to around 100,000s in week 4. Apart from Active X, the total amount of downloaded Java was lower than the Active X during this time frame, from around 50,000s in week 1 to marginally over 80,000 in week 5.
To compare with the different pattern with the Active X and the Java, the pattern of Net was changed as a U-shape from under 40,000s in week 1 to around 60,000s in week 5.
The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet.
I wonder if someone could try to grade my take on the first writing task on this page: Without knowing any particularities of the IELTS, I wrote the following:
by kumaran
(chennai)
Hi everyone,
Please review my task 1
The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
This bar chart shows the computer packages that were downloaded from the internet for the past five weeks. It can be clearly seen that the ActiveX was downloaded more than the Java and net packages.
It can be seen that the packages of Java and ActiveX downloads was constantly increasing during the weeks but the packages of net was not constant. In the first week there were about 75000 downloads of ActiveX which is almost 20 percent higher than the downloads compared to Java. The download of Net package was almost 30 percent less than the ActiveX in the first week. The downloads of ActiveX package was constantly increasing till the fifth week with a slight drop in the fourth week almost 120000 downloads while on the other hand the downloads of Java was also constantly increasing till the end end of fifth week with 90000 downloads which is 20 percent less than the downloads of ActiveX.
The computer package which was least downloaded was Net. This began with 40000 downloads in the first week and in contrast to the other computer packages there was major decline in the next weeks. It then increased for the next two weeks completing with around 50000 downloads in the final week which is very less when compared to the other computer packages.
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