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Comments for Changes in Society Essays

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May 17, 2016
 Average essay
by: A maybe-lucky 8.0 writer

Hello there.

Although it's a good essay, I truly recommend you to fix these mistakes:

1. At the introduction, you should ALWAYS point out your point of view of the problem at the end of the 1st par. You can "strongly agree", "partly advocate" with the idea. As I said, be straightforward.

2. Generally, you have a major mistake which will deprive you from getting a high score: No specific examples. I can give you some hints: goverment can make changes: compare between US government and Chinese to show the impact of their policies onto the environment, lifestyle, technology ... Your choice. Individual: take the young boy in Hong Kong who is fighting for democracy. ALWAYS: Be specific.

3. There are some minor mistake, like the first idea in 2nd par is confusing (government enforced law to keep the society safe from harm). Well, I think I shouldn't fix your main idea but let you read again and reconsider.

So, "no pain, no gain". Keep up the good work.
Cheers.
May 19, 2016
 Thanks for giving an advice
by: Anonymous

Thanks a lot for marking my mistakes which I made during writing an essay. I really appreciate that you have paid attention to it and spent your time to mark the mistakes. I will keep your advice in my mind whenever I will write an essay. I will be posting a new essay and looking forward having some comments on it.
Sep 30, 2016
 BUDDY
by: Sekhar44#

I want to know how can i improve my writing skills

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