this is a well written essay as i read. however, in the introduction, you wrote you have a different view, it sounds very unclear whether you are disagree or you partly agree. it is better you could clear your position in the beginning of your Balanced diet and a healthy life essay.
the first and second body para seems to be a concession paras, and last para is your opinion. in terms of the ratios, maybe you could write only one concession para and write 2 para which support your own ideas, make your view strong convince to reads.
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